I’ve been a fool most of my life.
I’ve quit when I should have persisted and I’ve persisted when I should have quit.
I’ve learned the wrong lessons and used the wrong tools.
I’ve relied too heavily on some skills and ignored others.
I’ve let too many relationships go.
But I’m glad I’m where I am.
I probably wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t made a lot of those mistakes. So. Not sure what to conclude except that:
- the brain is plastic
- there’s always room for movement
- love helps a lot
- if you trust the one you love
It’s not a coincidence that I’ve listed these four elements together. Bouncing back is easier when you’re not alone but you’ve got to be willing to learn, no matter how stupid you are. (Stupid = in a stupor, right?)
It’s not enough to love blindly or crazily or obsessively or in absentia. And you can manage without love. But having a love that you’re able to build in and on, that’s a huge huge boost.
I know because I was alone for 17 years. Yup. Another one of those mistakes.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I hear what you are saying about listening. People talk to me about their problems and I have learned that I can’t fix them. I can suggest or share what I have been through and how I dealt with the situation. When abused women talk to me, I do share my life story without mentioning names so the person feel comfortable enough to open up and talk to me. This way the person knows that I do understand the life style of a battered wife. I share with the person that I no longer view myself as a victim. I made goals and stuck to my goals. Finished two AA degrees, graduated college, raising two children on my own. One child was above average hyperactive kinetic-very difficult to raise. Now he is a sergeant in the Army. Trials that we go through make us stronger individuals. We learn from our mistakes when we accept responsibility for our part in each situation. Women think it is their job in life to fix their guy. Abusive men hate themselves and don’t want to be fixed. The healthy thing to do —get as far away as you can from that guy–We can’t change the other person, they have to want to change. So I am there to listen and sometimes that all they need- someone to care about them. I am careful not to give out personal info, I just say I am usually here at the coffee shop at this time on this day if you need to talk.
It is not foolish to make mistakes; only foolish to repeat the same mistakes, again and again and again.
More importantly, it would be desperately unfulfilling and tragic not to take any risks at all for fear of failure.
Bring on the joys and disappointments!
Russell´s last blog ..What is Wordpress
a few thoughts on self and flow. i want to capture that flow, i want to stop it before it vanishes, by taking pictures of my children, by punctuating life events with ceremonies, celebrations, with defined events, and yet all i really have, all i really am, is memories. and whether they stay or disintegrate they change, they move. change would be easier if it weren’t always accompanied by the experience of loss … of loss of self. so loss is part of the very structure of myself, of all selves.